Marriage: The Parent Negotiations
Bismillah ar-Rahmaan ar-Raheem,
Please comment so I know you're watching InshAllah. Also, if you get a chance, rate the video on YouTube too :)
Once you find the person to marry, then you notify your parents. Sometimes, there is drama involved, sometimes there isn't. This video is about all the back and forth negotiations one goes through when dealing with their parents about marriage. Its usually an issue when the parents and their kids have completely different views of marriage. I think many young people who are going through the process can totally relate to this video.
Please feel free to LINK to this video or to post this video onto your website or blog. I have been asked many times to cover this issue so I finally got the chance to do so. Now its in your hands to help spread the video by emailing those you know to check it out InshAllah. There are MANY parents watching this video blog series so InshAllah so I hope by the number of comments below will show them how many Muslims want to do things Islamically. If hope at the bare minimum, it opens the door to discussing this issue with the kids who are going through the process. If the burden is reduced on young couples who want to get married, then that result would be priceless.
I hope the parents out there are watching and reading the comments :) and since the web is anonymous you're more likely to get an honest answer on how people feel about this issue because nobody knows who is who.
I think the parents will be surprised by the number of people (via the comments) who share the similar views of this video. Allah Alim.
posted by Baba Ali @ 7:12 PM
277 comments
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277 Comments:
Assalam Alaikum brother,
I cannot see the video, it says it is not uploaded yet.
Perhaps an upload error? or perhaps I am looking at it too soon?
Jazakallah Khairun
i think we are all over excited!! There is no video in utube yet...
i think we must wait patiently!
its not working =[
why isnt this working? ive waited a month... only to be let down.
im sure we need 2 give it time...u havnt been let down! so unappreciative!
mashAllah great video, I got to watch at at the EZ conference it was well done! great job, keep up the good work
Sorry, I uploaded it but I think YouTube had problems. Anyways, it should be working now.
no probs!
MashaAllah another awesome video!
You captured the essential "arguments" that need'nt be there in the first place while planning a wedding or even thinking about getting married.
A Must See for ALL parents! [and some kids too]
Another Masterpiece!
Loved it, Jazak bro :)
awesome video. :)
i desperately want to get married, yet i am prevented from doing so because i live with non-muslim parents who are against the idea... i hope to move out in the next couple years inshaAllah and then look for someone to marry. of course with help, can't be too careful!
hey you should do a video on the struggles muslims have with non-muslim parents! that's definitely an issue with a lot of converts/reverts.
Masha'Allah. May Allah SWT reward you. Beautifully put together, amusing and with great meaning as usual.
Assalaam 'alaikum Br. Ali,
Masha Allah, well said, I agree with you, and I very much enjoyed!
Jazak Allahu khairan for your efforts, may Allah make them a testament for you on the day of Judgement, ameen :).
Asalaamu Aleykum WR WB!
Im soooo with Mandy!!! i have the same problem non-muslim mom and she hates muslims, its really hard i wish i had those measly problems muslim families do because its not nearly a problem compared to what me and Mandy face. Parents who dont want u to be muslim and dont want to see u with a guy with a "wrapped up head i.e turban" yeah yeah laugh, but they seriously think like that! My mom was like " I hope ur not planning to marry a muslim" im like IM MUSLIM! who else would i want to marry...mann..ya allah i pray for us all to be on the straight path, Ali u seriously have to make videos for reverts :P cuz thats what most people are struggling with =(
Ma salaami,
Sr. Dijana
Salaam Brother Ali,
Great Message to parents!
But we want more of the famous Baba Ali accent!
Salam Brother. Thank you for this episode.
Most of the parents now make the halal things harder to reach. And yet they don't want their children go into haram things.
*Waiting for the next episode :D*
Assalam
jazakhallah for your continuous efforts bro Ali, as always the video was funny, but to the point.
Hi Brother Ali,
How are you? I really liked the video clip.. it is really affective
I feel that our parents, all over the world, should understand the differences between our generation and their's. I would like to suggest one thing, why don't you make a clip about gays! I think that this situtaion is growing !! I looking forward for that :-) may god bless you with all your work
Asalaamu alaikum,
That was BRILLIANT! MashaAllah! Short and sweet and very to-the-point.
All I can say is "I know EXACTLY what you're saying"
JazakAllah khair.
This is a very serious issue and i think you presented it very well. I just hope that parents do actually listen to what you're saying.
Great job.
Nada
What can I say? Another fantastic video. Can't wait to see the next one!
Melbourne, Australia
mashallah another excellent and to the point video
well said, all praise is due to allah, inshallah let him make it easy for us to get married.
aameen
alhamdulillah..once again great one..
I know what you're saying, Ali.
As'salamu alaikum.
Greetings from the UK.
Assalamo Aleikom wa Rahmatollahi wa Barakatuh
MashAllah nice video =) very funny n yes... i know what ur sayin! ;) haha
May Allah reward you with the best in this life and the next! Allahumma Amiin
Thank you very much Ali...but it's so hard for a sister to find a proper man these days...
Salaam brother.
Another very well done video!
Jazakallahu Khairan.
Waiting patiently for the next one!!
"hard to find a Muslim guy to marry?"..are you kidding? lol
its even harder to find a good Muslim girl to marry these days
it didnt work for me either
but we must be paitent, i'll check again in a few hours time. inshallah it will be working by then
jazak allah anyway
Your Brother in Islam
Asalamaulykum
Yep... very true. But I wonder if parents will ever get it.
masha allah brother! wonderful video.. and agree on most of the points you made.. actually agree in almost all of them!
keep up the good work bro!
wassalam.
may Allah swt reward you inshaAllah for your intentions!
Excellent bro...keep it up.
We love watchin them in London!
My parents are slightly more undertanding, alhamdulillah, but its always good to know the difficulties of others and have loadsa laughs!
Shorif
slm wb wr
finally,i was so impatient!!!may allahe bless you ,and make you and all of us go trough all of these problems ,aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah it s sooo hard;la ilaha illa lahe!
i think there are too much bad consequences of that fact ....!!so parent should really try to do something about that ,at least watch this video and see how they look like unsympathetic ,and young shouldn't weaken to the temptations for that reason.BUt i admit it's difficult especialy in the west,may allahe give you strength imane and give you khachia ....
for the brothers and sisters hwo has non muslim parents ,macha allahe ,remember to be nice to them;there are your parents anyway and they love you nomatter what they say...
and for the brother and sister hwo sad that it s hard to find a good muslim partener to marry ,why didn't you get married both of you ???loool!!
Brother ali ,jazakalaho khayrane.
Greetings from MOROCCO.
Assalaam Alai'kum,
Great video but to be honest I nor my friends haven't experience this problem. Most of them got married young and my parents doesn't mind me getting married as well. I'm 26 years old and I to sometimes say that I don't want to get married now. Now watching this video, I kinda feel guilty. For the fact that my decision was acted upon selfishly. :/
Ma Salaam.
salam..
totally correct..
I mean how could we denied it? those society adnd those minded without they or we realizing it have made our society become worst.
an alternative please?
btw: this ummah film..May Allah bless all of you..really open eye outreach...interesting. We loved it
You should follow this up with the reasons why marriage at a young age is a good idea and how funny it is that parents are surprised when it happens and they are ashamed in front of their friends.
Such as the fact that some of these parents want to believe that their children do not want to have intimate relations until they have their Phd. Only to find out that their children wind up with illegitimate children, abortions, a wife or husband who is a whore, sexually transmitted diseases, or they have other bad habits (gambling, internet porn, tattoo addictions, drinking, etc.) because they were trying to fill up the lonliness or boredom they had by not having a spouse.
Masha Allah!
This is very beautiful! I really like the part about parents going further to control their by choosing careers!
May Allah reward you brother
subhanallah,,jazakallah brother for the video..it is just at the right time..i totally agree with u,,i'm planning to get married(im 22 years old)n i personally think that family isthe biggest challenge that i have to face..i'll definitely show this video to them..jazakillah again..
you tell em bro....
asalamaleikum. mashallah, awesome video as always. keep up the great work ur doing. may Allah bless you all. wsalam
Salaam bro.. MashaAllah this video is great. Keep the good work up.. i went to the 'evening with ali' i liked ur view on how british people sat on the tube.. lol.. you got it in one! lol most people do sit like that!
jazakAllah for your hard work.
Assalamu alaikum bro,
I was wondering if you could make a video about young people having boyfriends and girlfriends and maybe the consequences that this can lead to as i do know a lot of girls who are my friends involved in this and i have tried many ways of letting them know that what they are doing is haraam, so this is kinda like the last way im going to try...
Jazakallah ul Khairun
mashallah great video may allah swt reward you for your efforts.A video i must show to my parents.
Asalamu alaykum
Alhamdulilah im a 19year old sister and im gettin married. However, the brother i am marrying and myself are finding it very difficult to negotiaite with our parents on the simple wedding we would like to have. The biggest problem i am facing is trying to get my father to agree on a segregated wedding. He is so adamant on having it 'mixed like a salad' because its how its always been done in our culture. Why are parents so afraid of change? Its difficult because we want to please them as well as wanting to do the right thing. So, brother ali I can totally relate to this video. JazakAllah khair for bringing it to light to all of us. Alot of us may not realise that it is something that can be very affecting. Please do dua that all marriages will be filled with barakah inshaAllah. :)
Fantastic, yet soo true, well done guyzz!!
MashAllah great stuff, made me laugh. Perfectly put together to give an understanding with humour. JazakAllah khair.
Salam
Mashalla I LOVED THE VIDEO!
i read one of the comments, and one sister said that it's so hard to find a proper man these days.. and i completly agree.
It feels like all the guys have forgot what religion is!.. and it just makes me a little nervous!
and about the mixed weddings things..i had a friend who's fairly religious and she had the problem that she doesnt want a mis wedding but her family did.. and in the end they did it half/half.. which worked out awesome!
they had it mixed for the entering of the bride and groom and all that speeches jazz, and the dinner was mixed too but then when it came down to the partying..the men left and el7amdullila it worked out really nicely.
ofcourse, they had the layout on the invitations..so people wouldn't be too shocked! lol.
cant wait for the next video.. keep it up :)Jazakalla KHair
salaam brother,
Insallah god will reward you for your efforts.
your video s habe reached holland:D:D
wa salam
Asaalam Alaikun Bro,
That was a wicked video keep it up!
Jazakallah
Assalam Alaikom
another awesome video!
I totally agree ,the parents and the society make it hard to get married,maybe the parents forgot how it s to be young as you said.
i like too much the part where the father said "Dr or Engineer" lol
good work! keep it up.
Greetz from Morocco
Assalaamualaikum,
This video had some very good points, and it was funny at the same time. Good job! Keep up the good work inshallah!
Wasaalaams
Assalam Alaikum
Mashallah
it was jokes lol and to the POINT
thank u soo much bro:)
u can have sum rest now....we let ya lol...till the next 1 heehee
(Dia uk)
Maashaaa Allaahu ta'ala!
Great clip
good video mashallah.
Assalmu Alaikum brother,
i watched this already at the london event, yet could not wait to watch it again, its brilliant-so true-and i should serisouly show the parents!maybe you could do a video on the right methods of choosing a spouse-obviously dating is haram-what is the halal way of going about finding a spouse without dating, freemixing, and your parents setting you up with someone from backhome??
Jazakallah Khairun
(Sister in London)
Salaam
brothers and sisters it is working, and mashallah its a very well made video!!!
sweet video!!
Asalaam Alaikum Bro,
Wow brother this video just made my day LOLL, i can't wait to show my dad, im 18 now so yeah... need i say more? omgsh i love that part when u and your dad r just sitting there laughing nd he's like ali go to your room and make videos, i laughed so hard. jazakallah khair for making my day.
-melissa
Salam, another sister made a comment about how its difficult to find a 'proper man'- i TOTALLY AGREE,its so hard to find a practising brother who hasnt dated about 10 gals,i knw some of the sisters are not any better, its sad how its harder to find a practising muslim compared to non-practising muslim-when we are one of the largest growing religions (it really should be the other way round). k, im kinda goin off topic...
(Sister in London)
Alhamdulilah,
All parents should watch this video, maybe they will realize how important it is that they find their sons and daughters suitable life partners. InshAllah
Salaam Ahlykoem,
GREAT GREAT GREAT VIDEO.
Jazak Allahu khairan
i saw this at msa ez :)
Assalamu Alaikum,
I always laugh when I watch your videos...and I always learn something! I wish you were around 10 years ago when I was going through the marriage mess with my father...ugh! Thanks for the videos and may Allah bless you and your family!
assalaamualaikum wa rahmatullah,
mashAllah this is ssooooo good...your best yet! i know soo many ppl who your recent message would benefit...Jazzak Allahu khairun
salaam
I think that you are totally right, when it comes to marriage, parents only thing of them SELF and not there childrens, that sucks specially when they want one to marry a cousin, if they just knoe that its haram!!
Ahhhh, my parents so need to watch this, not so much about the religious issues as they are very religous and would love a halal wedding, but about the cousin "back home" being the perfect husband!!
BTW you were great over here in London, hope you come back soon!
Mashalla Brother Ali
Great video! I enjoyed it very much and better yet I agree with the message you convey.
Keep it up!
Bro u the best...and I know what your saying :)
This topic is pretty harsh. Hoever i did love the part at the jail. And the part doctor or Engineer. I don't think this video should be shown in the conference. If your showing two EPS. show like arrogant people and Fisabilillah discount.
Ali, i quite didn't understand the video's purpose. Was the video's purpose of kids strugling with their parents when they want to get married? And how kids are shy to not ask their parents about marriage, only because they know how they will react? if this is what it is. Then it's a good video. I just didn't find that point clear to me (but then again it's how i always am 'asleep' lol). So please tell me.
jazzzaks
Salaam Br. Ali. God reward you. Mashallah your work is very good and touching on important themes. I hope inshallah you can set things up in order to receive more help and to do the topics people are requesting. Seeing as you understand Farsi please watch this clip...it is an amazingly funny act and from a Molla too (I think I've seen him on Salaam TV).
http://youtube.com/watch?v=-yJ9XE4zDYM&search
And good luck with your marriage. May Allah give you a good wife inshallah.
alsalamu alaikom,
mashallah very true and said in the right way.i face the same problem with the computer science faculty,my parents still tell others that i'm an engineer,lol!may allah guide us all.
jazak allah khair brother.
Assalammu' Alaikum,
I always ask for viewers to comment on the videos because I want to know your there :) and I am amazed on the number of comments in just a few hours. Its not because of the video but rather the relativity of the issue for many people (either they have gone through it or they're going through something similar similar).
Last night a Muslim brother was over when I was uploading this video to YouTube. He was telling me the challenges he has come across finding a wife and while the stories can be quite interesting, its also sad as well. The very fact that it has been such a difficult process to find a practicing Muslimah is kinda sad. I have a read a few comments so far about how hard it has been for sisters to find a good husband while based on this brother's experience, it seems to be the exact same scenario for guys (actually, after all the stories I have heard so far, I'm starting to lean towards the side that it is more difficult to find a good Muslimah girl than a good Muslim guy). He has been telling me how hard it has been just to find a sister who wants really wants to practice Islam. I have had similar discussion with people who I have added on facebook so the problem isn't just local, its global. I wish there was method to connect all these Muslims and guys together in a halal way but I'm not a matchmaker, I just make the "little videos in my room" lol.
Anyways, I hope the parents out there are reading all these comments. The number of people commenting thus far shows you that this issue is something important to you kids. Yes, you kids love you and want your happiness BUT, they love Islam more and Allah (swt) happiness is more important than anything so please do not make the halal path a burden upon them. It is already difficult enough with all the haram options and temptations they have around them so if you really love your children, you will make the halal road easier, not harder.
If you think that you kids don't care and all these comments are just "other people", I kindly ask you to talk to your kids. Ask them. I think you will be surprised.
This is Ali reminding you just in case you forgot
your brother in Islam,
Ali
www.ummahfilms.com
Salaam Brother Ali
Funny and straight to the point!!
Marriage is such an important issue 4 us
jazakAllah khayrun 4 covering this topic!!
I pray and hope our family understands us.
May Allah swt accept your deeds and reward you all. Ameen
sister nay
Salamualaikum,
Great TOPIC and Great Episode.
Just hope the parents are watching!
Keep it going.
Wasalamualaikum Warahmatuallah
Zubair Khan
Salaamz brother,
This is just another amazing video, alhamdulilah I didnt have any trouble watching it. I think it covers a big portion of the Cultural marriage process. In the video you mention something about having a halaal split wedding, maybe u should have like a segment on the halaals and haraamz of weddings and things that happen at weddings....Just a suggestion
Salaamz
Mashaa'Allah that was brilliant, hope the parents take heed and may Allah make it easy for those looking to get married (and easy on the parents too :) )
assalamawalaikum!
wow, mashallah. great job brother! i really liked it. it was funny, trueeeeee, and i think a great way to let some people know how it is. i should show this to my mom. she'll have a good laugh. hah. anyways have a great day brother.
Salam.
may allah make this serious deficiency on our ummah gradually disappear, you've addressed it very well--- cover all realistic points--- keep up and subhanallah
Assalamualaikum,
It's good that you're bringing these issues to light as we're trying to live an Islamic life.
One of the issues that you brought up that Muslims have a misunderstanding is the issue of segregation and its place in Islam.
Jazak-Allah Khair,
Walaikumasalam
Asalamalaykum Brother Ali,
A well put in effort,trully remarkable.
its a very realistic picture that u hav tried capturing.i hope everyone benifits from the effort you ae putting in and society changes for the better.Ameen
could you try working on post marriage traumas,the aspects we tend to overlook after comiting ourselves to each other.
Jazakallah
*CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* Mashallah brother Ali, Allah swt shower his mercy upon you and guide you to the path of jannah cuz wat you said is true subhanallah!! and i'll be showing this video to all my family,just to remind them incase they have forgotten culture is not part of islam and we should marry any1 from aroudn the world aslong as they devoted muslims!! Looking forward to more of you videos bro keep it blessed salaam alaykhum
You got me crying, subhan Allah. You speak the truth.
Assalam Alaikum brother,
One feedback I would like to say is that I notice that the target audience were people of first generation from overseas.
However the problem of marriage is becoming quite difficult for new muslims as well. It can be for the most part. Where families don't want them married to them just because they are of different race or a convert.
And I believe the video could have also given a sisters side of the story too.
But I guess we as humans always pick at things and want more.
And the last comment I saved for last because it is the best comment.
The video, alhamdulillah was great. My family is from afghanistan and I was born here in the states. So I could relate to it.
Jazakallah khairun
Assalam Alaikum
right on, brother!
EsSalama all,
THE VIDEO IS GREAT mashaAllah, I've already watched it in London : ) but still, to watch it again was good!!!! Keep doing good work mashaAllah. Take care bro
Wasalama : )
Safia
Thank You VERY VERY Much!!!
I loved this video and it was like you were in many many many of my friends minds as i have been told about these con as i am yet to have one
PS: i am going to forward this to my dad but from an Anonymous :)
Fe aman Allah
Salam, your blogs are awesome! but somehow, i sense that you're getting a tad too serious as you progress in your later video blogs. the spontaneity and pace like portrayed in the video blog #4 (Muslims While Flying) is somehow lost as season 2 progresses. I hope to see more wit and clever tips, as it adds lightness to the weight of the topic. keep up the good work. islam would be dull if it werent for spontaneous, chatty, opinionated persona's like yourself. i look forward to the next blog. all the best!
salam,
I noticed that each subject is completely random from the next. this video has nothing to do with your last video and that video has nothing to do with the video before that. sometimes its more on the comedy end while other times is more on the serious end. you'll always get people you prefer one over the other and i have noticed that they style hasn't changed since the beginning.
at the end, its the uniqueness that makes these videos what they are.
Salaams, you said everything I was thinking...perfect video.
"Cousin back home"....my word, its a global problem that unites all us young muslims huh?
So true. Everky last bit of it. I saw all the wedding struggles occuor with my cousins and now that I have found someone to marry I am "too young", hes "not a doctor", his "mother is from ____", "even if we did let you get married, he doesnt listen to music?", "He doesnt drive a mercedes?!?!?" WHAT ARE YOU THINKING... HE DOESNT DRIVE A MERCEDES!!!"
lol... no seriously thats what my parents say.
God bless you Ali for making these videos!
Salam
-Amanda
Asalam Alaikum brother,
Mashallah, another great video. I feel like this video is of great importance as well because it is an issue that I'm sure comes up a lot of Muslim families and communities. By all the of the comments here, it is very obvious of the complications of marriage in general and also because of us kids being raised here in the west. It is hard to find a suitable husband or wife that is willing to practice Islam in its entirety. I am one facing this same issue. Many parents aren't willing to accept others because they are of a different race or culture but in reality this is nonsense because a Muslim is a Muslim no matter what color they are. Altogether, this was a great video and inshAllah it will bring light to the situation to all those who read it, hopefully many parents as well.
Great job, keep it up.
JazakAllah Khairun
Salam.
Alsalamualaikum,
MashAllah great Video, alhamdulilAllah
Brother Ali,
Are you looking for a wife? Not that the video made any indications that you did.. Im just wondering!
Salaams
Asalaam Alaykum brother,
I'm still not at the marriage stage but I hope my parents are not going to insist on a salad wedding.May Allah give all the parents an open mind to understand their kids.
but brother you asked for some ideas for your videos.I'm a teenager striving hard to be a good muslima in a huge highschool where muslim kids don't act so muslim. for example you can talk about in your videos how some kids in Ramadan leave their parents to go to school while fasting, but than the end up behind the school in smokers hill smoking or in the cafterias eating. Than they go home and there parents are none the wiser.also in my school all the muslims are allowed to go to the auditorum during ramadan whether they are fasting or going there to chill.Now the issue is all the muslim girls who think they're gangster and too cool to fast go cracking there gum or eating there chips in front of the boys, now the boys start thinking that the girl has her monthly cycle so she can't fast and they think if the girls are not too embaressed to hide it than they are willing to do other things.so perhaps you should warn the parents of what could be going on behind their back.May Allah help us all find or stay at the right path.salaam
a concerned sister
P.S.I can't get enough of your truthful videos.
The video was awesome mashAllah!
Salams as always ur videos show reality, and help us all to understand a lot of situations muslims go through,jazakAllah
You make a great point. Thats what makes the videos so succesfull is cause u say what peopl are thinking. Inshallah u will make a great father and husband one day. Will u marry me? hahahahaha
Aoa,
once again bro u amaze me! haha i love it. i was like awwee wen ur actin the solitary confinment part. and im punjabi and i can totally relate to the " u must marry the person from this country,state,reigon,city,family lol great stuff keep it up :)
have you dealed with this b4 for ur marraige?
Assalam Alaikum
Really a great one, just like all the other videos you made thanks alot brother. Keep up the good work.
Can not wait for your next video.
That's exactly what i've been wanting to tell my parents!!
Thats it.. I'm going to make them sit and watch your video! Haha..
Maashaa Allah, Well done akhee. Many feel this pain.
One Palestinian sister told her Non-racist father that she wanted to marry me. She then showed him a photo of me from a local paper(post 9-11 interview) & his reply was reportedly, "No, No Americans." This was her nice way of saying her father called me a NI**A. Lol!
Long story short... I MADE myself no-longer "interested" in her in order to keep harmony within her family. It was either this or undergo a PALESTINIAN-plasty. Lol!
Asak!
I just have a question, u know how you mention certain types of people and such in your videos, for example in the islam vs. culture one, the parents who teach their children their own modified version of islam, do you bring up these people from your own experience and people you know?
anyway, i absolutley love your videos and they defenitly keep me reminded =] keep it up!
Entertaining and on the money when it comes to marriage issues...keep up the good work!
Jazakallh Khairun
Brother Ali;
I realy have enjoid your films, I have seen them all. Your films discuse all the things that people can not see or understand. So thank you brother for your films. My family have also enjoid your films. I can not wait to see the next one.
Thank you
your sister; Fatima
Asalamu Alaikum, Masha' Allah, very good video, quite true, which makes it a little scary.:) But the only reason, well, the bigger reason, on why parents want their children to not get married at a young age is because they want us to first finish college, (which is around 24-25) and we basically don't want to live with our parents that long, ESPECIALLY in today's society. But, all in all, it was a rather good video, and I enjoyed it very much. Insha'allah their should be more great videos prior to today's problems.
Salamz
Asalam Alaikum,
I don't know if this question has been asked before but are you planning on traveling to Canada by any chance?
Salam
Brother Ali..Your speak my mind! Please meet my parents...HAHA
Your Sister from the UK
Asalaam'u Alaikum
great vide and a great reminder for those trapped by their families culture. Insha-Allah Allh(swt) makes it easy for us all =)
masalaama
Assalam alaikum Brother Ali,
I LOVE THIS VIDEO!
JAZAKI ALLAH KHAIR FOR EDUCATING PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME U MAKE US LAUGH.
aslamu aleikum,
Very good video mashAllah a Ummahfilms records 24 honors..May Allah reward you brother Ali as you are one most of the most sincere brothers i have ever met keep it up..
Hassan Sultan
assalamu alaikum
i agree with mandy you shouild do a video about converts, but also about kids who grew up muslim. its not just the parents that corrupt muslim yoth's minds but their friends as well. actually some times parents want you to be religious. but friends have a big affect too. like the video you did about when you converted, friends affect you. there is a saying that goes "tell me who your friends are and i'll tell you who you are". and about getting married are you sure that somebody should get married? i mean it is half the religion, but sometimes i think that people can do without marriage.
assalamu alaikum
i really like the videos jazakallah. like you said they are straight to the point but entertain at the same time. and you are so right about getting married young, i know lots of muslims that do the haram and date and have girlfriends or boyfriends.
i go with many of the other blogs posted, it is hard to get married because not many people can find a good practicing spouse. many of the muslim girls and guys dont practice their religion properly and do bad stuff. and sometimes, they prtend to be good but are really hypocrites. for ex. they would claim that they pray and fast and do all the religious stuff, but when you really get to know them, they are really fake and wont suit to be a husband, let alone father. so yeah, it is pretty sad. well, anyway, may allah bless you for making these videos and grant you and everybody that is supporting this jennah
asssalmu alaikum
Assalamu alaikom everyone:
May Allah make this life easy for us and guide us all, ameen.
I completely understand about the sisters with kaafir parents. Same here, actually. But that was 22 years ago. When they disowned me, I ended up marrying an arab who was/is stuck in his culture and too proud to be a better Muslim. PLEASE don't make the same mistake. Make sure when you do marry, he agrees to learn more about Islam WITH you, and not have the attitude that he's almost perfect anyway. Just be careful! Also, perhaps the reason Guys and Gals cannot find a "good Muslim" counterpart is that their definition of a "good Muslim" is completely different.
I know a lot of people who are considered "good Muslimeen" but Allahu alem, many would not qualify them as such.
Another good video, brother Ali, keep up the good work. I know you've been very busy lately but don't be too busy for your own family, inshaAllah.
Salaamu Alaikum Brother,
Your video was quite an uplifting peice on the issues surrounding the generally underestimated effects of cultural bidahs on the purity of Islam. Especially in the post-modern world of today where anything and everything goes, culture tends to take the lead in family issues. There is only so much parents want to accomplish in the way of deen, and leave the rest for others. Hence, it's really upto the children of today to change their parents, and I truly believe, little by little, inshaallah, they will develop into the deen with stronger convictions.
Such a beautiful aspect of life, an aspiration for everyone, marriage should be the last issue fought upon between families, and yet, its the first. It's all a call for a greater consciousness of Islam within our lives to make everything so simple and right.
M'asalaam,
finally waited for this one for ages ...great as usual ^_^ keep up the amazing work! we'll definately be showing some of these videos in our weekly da'wa circles insha'Allah- thnx for the inspiration ^^ w.salaam
another question?
are u married? and how did it work out for you?
Asalam alaikum,
He is married wal hamdulilah. The rest is his personal life and he is a very privet person. Wa salam alaikum.
Assalamu Alaikum,
Jazakallah khair brother. Sadly this is very true and most people are being forced to wait longer and longer to get married. I think this also applies to girls. The girl usually has very little control over who can even come propose to her and her parents weed out many prospects before often based on how much money he makes or where he comes from.
So jazakallah khair for bring up a subject that many of us cant talk about.
Asalamu alaykum akhi,
jazakalah khayr! I always enjoy watchin your videos! I have one request...I may be asking too much of you...but akhi, do you think you can do that matchmaking you were talking about in your previous comment?! I understand that it's such a big responsibility and all...but a lot of our muslim brothers and sisters (including myself) are in a situation where they need a reliable bro (like youself mashaAllah) that is willing to just connect potential husbands and wives in a halal manner...do you know what I mean?! It's really difficult nowadays subhanalah to find that special someone...and like you said in your video: "We live in a society where the halal is hard and the haram easy..." I can't agree more to this sentence!!
Take care and may Allah (swt) bless you and your family always!
ok,,, cal me sad but iv watched dis video more den once.lol.
(Sister in London)
salam anonymous,
if you want to talk to Ali directly, you can just email him at ali@ummahfilms.com
not sure if he will matchmake but it won't hurt to try
Mashallah
Good topic and good coverage of it.
The video lagged a little though and lacked some of the faced-paced pop and shizzle of earlier videos.
Still, glad to see you have your camera fixed and are back to making these videos.
I see people making comments about how it is hard to find a mate. I know hardly any eligible females, but Muslim men come up to me all the time asking if I can find them a wife. Complete strangers approach me a the masjid asking for me to hook them up. I think it is because I am white and they think I must know all the white Muslimahs in town.
Don't try to marry a girl just because she is white...go for piety first and foremost.
The best way to find a spouse is to be an active Muslim...in the masjid for salat, volunteering etc so that the imams get to know you as a good brother. When you are ready to marry, ask the imam for a hook up. That's what we did for my sister-in-law.
Asalaamu Aleykum wr wb,
Did you see this response to your marriage video?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=wtdKHJqzTb0
PEOPLE CAN CHANGE - DON'T GIVE UP HOPE!
Walaikum Salam,
I know good Muslim brothers and sisters but I don't think I'm much of a matchmaker. I guess I can try to help you InshAllah but the success is out of my hands.
your brother in Islam,
Ali
Asalamu Alikum Baba Ali
Youtube has many of ur videos in subtitles of different languages. Are there future plans to have subtitles in arabic inshallah?
Let us know!
Jazak Allah
AAsalam alaikum,
Yes Insha’Allah, we were working on it. We had some issues with the software and to look for someone who can translate Arabic very well. If you are able to help us please email us at info@ummahfilms.com all the subtitles for the reminder series were done by volunteers. May Allah bless them for their efforts Wa salam alaikum.
Assalamualikum,
Just wanted to share- I didn't have in laws at my wedding. They did not even want us to get engaged. Supposedly we were supposed to wait until one of my spouses other siblings got married first. Does that make sense?
So alhamduhlillah I didn't have the big bash that I wanted but I had a very halal wedding (no music or mixing) because it was just in the apartment of a knowledgeable person we know and we just had the necessary witnesses, those from my family who came.
And this caused so many problems up to this day. I can't explain the pain this has caused us both, but in the end i think I made the right choice to get married. Jazakallah for this video.
Great video! Full of laughs and at the same time enlightening!
lolz i liked the salad joke! God its unfortunate that some kids have to deal with parents with that sort of mentality when it comes to marriages/weddings. Then again our parents are only human can make mistakes as well. They're only trying their best and I'm sure by keeping an open mind and gaining firmer knowledge in Islam, rather than desperately trying to hold on to old cultural traditions (that may not exactly be correct) we can get there inshallah!
Another point sometimes potential spouses (even their parents) may feel uncomfortable around u because they think your "too religious" (e.g. by something like wearing a hijab) puhleeese! Ignore them and inshallah you'll come across someone who sees your attempt to hold on to your faith as an asset rather than a disadvantage!
Thank you Baba Ali!
Salams to you and all the other viewers!
I agree cousin back home... GLOBAL ISSUE lolz! hahahaha
why oh why! rofl
great video. its funny to know that things like this can actaully happen with kids and their parents...its different for me...mostly different.
MashAllah....keep up the good work brother.
A nice video masha Allah. But that's already the negotioation part. How do I find the spouse in the first place? :(
I haven't made that video yet. This video is part of the Muslim Marriage Video series and I'm kinda doing them backwards.
There are plenty of good brothers and sisters out there. You just have to look in the right places.
EsSalam
Well there is a video called "find a spouse online" sooo funny mashaAllah, but the best way is people around you who know people lol : ) but do not forget that everything is Mektoub Latifa : )
Wasalam : )
Safia
resalam, sorry it was Lafata, SORRYYYYYYY,
wasalama : )
Safia
As salaamu 'Aleykum
MashAllah awsome video, i wish you would have dont this video 3 years ago lol!
and... I know what ur saying!! Hope parents all over the muslim world gonna know it to inshAllah
JazakAllahu khayran
/Sister from Sweden
Yes, it is maktoub, it's ok, you can call me latifa or lafata, I don't mind ;).
Salam, yes Baba Ali, I am sure there are nice brothers and sisters out there. But, do I go for example to the mosque and say, what's up people? Who wants to get married?! You?! Wonderful, me too :P.
Salam,
lol...im sure dat will work lol(Sister in London)
I know exactly what you mean, Lafata...we've got the same problem at our local mosque...Why do people have to make everything so hard?!?!?
assalamualaikum
i wonder whether u will read this due to the huge amount of comments
hope u will be able to read it though insya Allah
first and foremost,
masha Allah, keep up the good work!
thanks for bringing up this issue..
i want to share about the situations in my country, courting, coupling and dating has become so imminent that it has been already considered normal among the muslims
some (not all) parents rather let their kids dating instead of letting them getting married as they believe that their kids are not financially fits and for other reasons that u have mentioned in ur video, hope u could touch in this matter if u have the time insya Allah
another thing is that, the issue of muslim women marrying late or not married at all, one example is me, i'm already nearly 30, and so are some of my friends are having the same dilemma
it's not that we reject marriage or anything, but ppl treat us like we are expired goods or something
as if we would jump to any opportunity of getting married, be it married men, old men etc
i believe in qadha' and qadar, but sometimes the way ppl treat me makes me feel bad, sometimes they make me feel like i'm not a good muslim if i'm not married
ok, enough rambling, i think u already got the point :)
again, keep up the good work!
Asalam aliakum,
Indeed it’s an issue due to the absence of Islamic way of life or the system that is built upon (Islam). Nevertheless this matter has to be addressed. Insha’Allah we’ll post this issue in our project list.
Asalam Alaikum,
Alahmdulilah, Brother Ali posted a link for any ideas and suggestions for the reminder videos. Go back to the main page and look for “Got an idea for the Reminder? Post it here!” under LINKS. Jazakum Allah. Wa salam alaikum.
Assalammu' Aalikum,
Seriously, I didn't know it was such an issue of finding your other half. I can try to help but I just a brother with a video camera and a few reminders :) (not really experienced in matchmaking).
With a over million people watching the videos, maybe we should just start a halal version of Internet matchmaking so open a path for good Muslims to find each other. I think I would make it a free or very cheap service but I would try to make it DIFFERENT than the sites out there. I really don't like the whole "let be friends" nonsense that many sites promote. A long time ago, I had this same idea and I had a non-Muslim guy build a site to do this but then i was told that in order to get people on your site during it launch, you need to put up fake profiles up as bait. I refused to do that because I refuse to lie and deceive people. Thus, I took a huge loss for the money I put in the project and the site no longer exist. I still have the code still and if there really is a demand for people who are sincere about finding a good spouse then maybe I can try to relaunch it again for them.
That would be interesting project.
Assalamu Alaikum, brother, that sounds goood!
(Sister in London)
As Salam Alakum Ali,
All this vidoes you have made are really great and teach a good lesson. "Marriage: The Parents Negotiation" was another super video. Keep it up!
Shukran =)
Wow... I just came upon your blog and videos! I can't believe I've been missing all that!! Brother Ali, you're prolly tired of hearing that (okay maybe not:P) but you're doing an AWESOME job Masha'Allah.
Never has being reminded of important/sensitive issues been such an enjoyable experience!
May Allah bless you!
Asalam alaikum,
I agree with (Sister in London)
EsSalam !!!
Well the idea of internet matchmaking...is quiet ambiguous, no honestly you don't know who you speak with....and you are VERY different when it comes to "face to face" if I can say it like this, am not saying do not do it, you know...am just saying that I've seen that kind of "halal" websites, and you ALWAYS have ambiguity and disappointement, but may be that can work with you if you have a way to control situation I dunno how lol, the idea of going to mosque is the best way if you know no one around you.....and it is safe... I mean you are sure to be in a halal environement instead of behind your computer alone without being alone....see...lol : that was just my opinion of course! but I have to say , that nowadays it is a issue to find the other half....because we do not know HOW to look for, therefore how to find logic! lol
Wasalama everyone
Safia
Salam, i think sister Safia has a good point, something that needs to be taken into consideration... ges its difficult to find the other half because we do not know how to approach the issue...obviously takin into account the halal and the haram...
(Sister in London)
mashallah, very good video. It was suitable for both kids and adults. well done!
one good idea for your next video could be how young people resist dating.
JazakAllah for this beautiful addition.
www.qisas.com
Masya Allah. Its a great vid, bro!!
Salam
I love your idea of the match macking site excusively for marriage, It's needed!!!
I am having a hard time coinvinsing my parents to even let me look for a spouse!
Wa Salam!
Good work. :) The Verse at the very end should say "spouses" and not "wives". Please change that word to 'spouses'. Being accurate about what the Qur'an says is extremely important
Hey Ali
I watched you on Islam Channel when you were in the UK last month and you hinted that this was your next video.
Alhamdulillah that you got to do it (and my prediction was right) and it raises a lot of points.
I'm pretty much in this same predicament with the whole "You can marry anyone as long as she's from such&such at such&such city, etc". Because of this, it's honestly putting me off from getting married at an early age (I'm 22!).
Now if this is subtitled in Arabic, I would have easily shown this video to my parents (just so they can understand it even better).
On the record, keep up the good work.
Salam
Salams Baba Ali!
I've already commented but forgot to ask you something:
I know you've gotten busy lately but once your load lightens and you have time for travelling again PLEASE COME TO SYDNEY!!!!
May Allah reward you for your effort
w.salam
Asalam Aliakum,
In Tafsir Ibn Kathir it says :
(And among His signs is this that He created for you wives from among yourselves,) meaning, `He created females of your own kind, to be wives for you.
Wa salam alaikum.
very nice funny videos mashallah. i hope more can be made inshallah
salam aleikum,congatulations brother Ali!its a great video!
Asalamu alaykum,
subhanalah...I was going to suggest a similar idea...the match making site would help out a lot! Jazak Allah khayr =)
Asalamu alaykum,
subhanAllah...I was going to suggest a similar idea...the match making site would help out a lot!!! Jazak Allah khayr =)
salam, okkaayyy so im post number 166 so im clearly behind on this ummah films issue but this is the first movie i c by u guys and its amazing! thank u for bringing into light this (what can at times be dreadful) issue: marraige. now my dads a funny guy so im hoping that wen i show this video to him he'll get it. as in i hope he wont just laugh and walk away (altho im sure there will be laughing), and i also hope he wont be like: y r u showing me this do U want to get married >.< and then get into a whole awkward conversation about how im too young meaning he didnt realli get the video. cuz im pretty sure u didnt just mean the movie for guys rite? :)
neways thanks for this video and inshAllah ull continue to make great videos. noe wat im saying??
souzan :)
salamoualikoum wa rahmatoulahe
waw!! i was quite suprised to read that there will maybe a project of matchmaking ;i personnaly don't imagine that this kind of relation that begin with a conversation in internet will succeed ,
but if it's in halal way ,well maybe!! i hope soo !!
i know it's still not decided but bab ali don't forget to ask a cheikh about that and do salat al istikhara "really important "before you do any step insahllahe ;
and remember brothers and sisters that marriage is 100% maktoub ,so don't bother yourselves a lot with it and make dou3a sincerly and never give up!!
and again jazaka laho alfa khayre baba ali
slm wb
I saw it - it worked. Major Issue. Liked it. Don't like the reality. Really liked the video. You should start making just audio's about this so people can play them to their parents while they sleep... get this show on the road.
Salaam Brother,
Please can you also quote the reference of the Ahadeeth you are using in all your videos so people learn and benefit. InshAllah
JazakAllahu khairun!!
asalamalikum, bro dis vids wiked seen it wen u come down to london inshAllah u'l get good reward for all ur efforts
jazakAllah Khairun
salaam. Alhamdullilah much better. I mean, they are all excellent but the last one lacked something...the funny factor..which this one makes up for. Keep it up!
wsalaam
As-salaamu Alaikum!
Alhumdulillah, you've did it again. =) mashaAllah I always look forward to these episodes! keep up the good work.
Ma'salaam
Salam,
Mashallah, I love all the videos, I have been watching them for a while now, I check almost every week to see if you have released a new one. Well anyways, Keep up the great work, May Allah give you the will and the strength to keep these wonderful reminders flowing. With this video you kind hit a lot of good points.
Jazakome Allah Kair again!!!!!!!!
w.salam
As-Salaamwalaikum
This video completely explains my situation in a nutshell. I love it! I am sending this to my parents, inshallah it might enlighten them.
As-Salaamwalaikum
as salaam walikum...
This inshaAllah is very informative. Though my children now are 4 and below...inshaAllah i ask Allah to make their choice and our patience accepted..Ameen
Asalaamu Aliykum brother Ali,
MashaAllaah amazing one, jazakalAllahu khayran...
Assalam Alaikum brother,
Mashallah brother Ali. I love this video. I have watched all your videos I am learning so much thank you. Inshallah we all are going to be good Muslims.
Pretty Amazing stuff here guys!!!!!!
keep up
take care..
I agree with Br. Humza
the video should be seen by my parents who are Allhumdulillah are good parents but need to see the overall picture of marriage
Asalaam Alaykum!
Jazak Allaho khairen brother
Its all very true what u said in this video. Mashallah
May Allah bless you for the work u do.
salam alykoum
great video, thank u so much for your work
Asalamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatulahi Wa Barakaatu!
Jazaka'allah Alfa Khayr brother. I love your videos and appreciate the effort and thought put in them, I had wished though that you could use your viewer rate to give a side-series, maybe something that would really address the basics of Islam; or, more importantly, the mentality needed to understand the basics. Brother, I wish for Allah to draw you closer to himself and admit you into Firdaws; but, please, if you can address the mentality of a Muslim...If you'd like help with this, my e-mail is neogeneses@hotmail.com.
Again, may Allah reward your efforts and give you his mercy, Ameen...Salaams...
Salam Brother,
i was going to make a suggestion for one of your videos,i think that it would be very beneficial if you done a video on DATING- i think that its a massive issue for our muslim youth-(its almost becoming the norm where i live), i think its an issue that needs to be addressed.
(Sister in London)
Let me start by saying that your videos are really awesome - they're informative and funny, and capture the viewer's attention without trying too hard. Alhamdulillah, they're really good.
What I'd also like to mention is the reasoning behind parents wanting their children to wait before they get married. The main reason my parents have given us is that they want us to be stable financially before we get married. Although I am in no rush to get married, if I did want to do so, they would not stop me. The main point I'm trying to get across is that although marrying slightly later in life may be cultural, it is also very logical. After all, if a couple get married young and they have no financial security (i.e. they are both still in university/college and are living off student loans or whatever), they are actually just creating a more complicated situation. Although Islam does encourage people to marry young, I think the main problem is that 'young' is undefined. In Western culture 'young' to be married can be 18 or 19 years old, whereas in Eastern culture it can be 25 or 26, especially for guys. Marriage isn't all about satiating sexual urges, it is a commitment and a huge responsibilty, and many young people don't understand that. I think you are too harsh on parents when they want their children to wait before they get married. After all, they have a greater knowledge than us as they have the benefit of age and experiance.
Mashallah Brother! GazakAllah for your videos!
Are you Married yet?? Hows if going for you? Any children? =)
is it true that season 2 is the last season?
Awesome video man!MashAllah. Some really good points raised,especially regarding halal marraiges, most marraiges ive been to are full of music and "salad",which is not only haram but uncomfortable for anyone who wants to support their relative getting married but also realises the music and mixing isnt allowed. Parents should defonately watch this!!
Keep it up!
Assalamu Alaikum brother.
You covered most of the topics which I have experienced too. It is actually so hard that sometimes I am thinking of marrying a non-muslim (christian or jew). And I feel for the sisters and brothers who feel the same way too. Though I think that if Muslims were not so concerned about the issue of virginity, it would be much easier, since for the women, the fear of divorce and ending up losing their virginity compels parents to be strict about who their daughters marry. That is what I feel is happening in most Islamic countries because no one will marry a non virgin.
salam bro
great video!
Salaam bro... thanks! keep it up
Assalamualaikum Brothers,
Another great video..mashallah. I love them all and they impact in many ways. This one specially made a greater difference. I am 17 and always have thoughts of marriage. Both of my older sisters got married the traditional way and one of them got married in from where we came from. I especially don't want that. And more than that...i can relate to every point that u made. So jazakalla Khairun.
Inshallah next time...
assalamualikum brother ali, as soon as i saw u on islam channel, i decided to see ur vidioes, and mashallah, they are turrific!!!
i will encourage my freinds inshallah to watch ur vidoes and i really beleive that neone who wanted to, could us their talents wisely and dedicate to allah!
jazakallahkhair
I think it's sad that people think that just because people have sexual that, that means they should get married.
For one; children mature (sexual) much faster.
I think we should have more backbone, and wait till we, inshaAllah, are mature enough, to be able to handle a marriage and all teh responsiblity that comes with it.
Assalam Alaikum,
all i have to say is that you are right on with the truth. you are catering to issues that effect muslims born and raised here. love the videos and can't wait for more.
w'salam
Assalamualaikum;
I have one thing to say: Hamdillah for people like you!
This world is so full of confusion and chaos, but your videos make it easier to deal with everyday life. Your marriage video and hijab video are truly classic. I have to say I enjoyed those the most. All of the videos are educational and should be shown in classrooms where Muslims go to school so that others can see how Islam really is. I have an idea for a video and hope Inshallah that you'll be able to feed off of this idea and go with it.
I was raised in a double standard type of family so I think a video on "Double Standards" would be nice and more than likely funny to see. My dad has his ideas on what is halal and haram in his eyes, not in the eyes of Allah. He says it's haram to marry a black man, but he married my mother who is bi-racial. The prophet Muhammad (PBUH) always taught us to be tolerant of other people and love them regardless of race and culture. Inshallah you can find some material to incorporate into that and get the word out to those of us who are struggling with double standards.
Salamalaikum and Jazakallah Khair for the videos.
Again Salamu Alaikum.
Regarding MCMOI87's comments, I have to agree but to a certain extent only. If youngsters reach the age of 20 they should start looking for a spouse and the issue of maturity in this age is more of an educational issue. I think that if the youngster is educated about his/her role as a husband and wife in Islam and the duties and responsibilities that come with it, then there is no problem. In fact most young married couple are dependent on the advice and financial help of their parents at the beginning of their marriage until they gather more money and can live more independantly. This to me is still better then the risk of them finding satisfaction from Haram options.
salaamz,
This video is you have made is very true. Many parents want their children to wait until they are much older to get married... but a lot of the times it results in fitnah. May Allah bless you for speaking the truth in a kind and honest manner!
I saw the video.. I think it goes in family's all around the world like the video.. Insha allah parents will accept there choice of there daughter of son if they want to get married..
Sorry for my bad english..
Alaikoem Salama from Hollánda..
Jazak Allahu Khayran
Salam Alaykum again to everybody.
I read a few posts, which I found interesting.
One was from sister "ida_zy", who said she was over 30 and was disturbed by how people saw her in a negative light because she was single. Well I have to tell the sister that from a man's point of view the financial burden and the societal expectations discourage most men from seeking the hand of an intelligent and educated Muslim lady like her thus shrinking the number of men ready to marry. Yes I agree that most men are looking for younger women but that can be changed by cultural education. The same problem is the virginity issue which has become so holy that it scares most women from getting married because divorce and loss of virginity makes remarriage of these women impossible.
Men are the problem here because of their expectations to marry a virgin. What about the divorced or widowed 30-40 year old woman?
Islam does not place a sanctity on virginity and we muslims should not.
Still I find this disturbing that the sister is trying to distance herself from marriage when she should actively seek out potential spouses. Remember that Khadija was the one who asked to marry Prophet Mohammad, so any sister can also propose to a man. But in order to do that, she has to take part in halal activities with men like discussing quranic issues in the masjid or studying in a study group.
As long as the women in this sister's situation think that independance and distance from men is a good thing, they will discourage the tiny number of men with the courage to get married from asking for her hand.
And no matter what sister Farah thinks when she posts that it is better to become financially stable before marriage, the truth is the world economy seems to be getting worse thus the age of marriage is going to increase and some might never be able to marry. So in this worsening condition the ummah as a whole must do everything it can to bring together young and low income people to get married and support them. Ofcourse the ummah must also work to create economic opportunities.
And the question of why it is becoming more common among muslims to date is because of the world economy getting worse and expectations rising thus dating is seen as the only option when marriage becomes impossible.
So in this respect, I don't understand the brother who posted that marriage is maktoob and one does not have to worry about it. That's why people choose to date instead of getting married. So if we want more Muslim men and woman to marry and not date, we must all do our best to help them find spouses and support them. This is a community based effort.
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